While on the topic of traditions let’s talk about Christmas!
Cook everything. Decorate an immensely oversized tree with a million gifts for every person that could or would even potentially cross the threshold! Always an open invitation at Cranley Manor (my mommy’s house in Athlone, there behind Najwa and Taliep’s house – that’s a story for another day!)
So Christmas Eve from around 10pm we gather and there is a brief bible sermon delivered by my daddy. By brief I mean at least 45 minutes long and everyone has their bibles and we will turn to every scripture and generally followed by a Q&A session on what we have learnt! Kenny style – mos. Then the countdown to midnight and we open our gifts. Followed by shots of anything available usually tequila, schnapps, nagtmusiek and bottles and bottles of red wine! This usually ends around 5am where we all pass out until around 9am. Mad rush to wake up and get everything sorted, lay the tables, nurse your pounding headache, or drown it with a Amstel because drunk is always better than babalas – remain drunk and make sure your alcohol to blood level keeps you awake enough to function but drunk enough to be merry while trying to remain productive.
Lunch is served promptly at 1pm which actually means 3:45pm in Cranley time. We all just pretend that we’re on time and everything is normal. Sit around the table and start off with prayers and then it begins all over again! Tequila, liquerice Zappa and usually something lekke like patron and aftershock. I have obviously taken it upon myself to spike the non alcoholic punch with mainstay just to make sure everyone is constantly on a level! Then we eat, and we eat some more and desert! Tiramisu that calls for a shot or two of spiced gold…but you know we’re extra so we’ve added like half the bottle and had the rest in the form of shooters because waste not want not. More red wine on tap and Amstel on demand!
After the show it’s the after party…don’t forget your bather because you will be pushed into the pool fully dressed if you forgot. So it’s better to just canon ball yourself in before someone makes you do it against your will! Pool volley ball, 30 seconds, dums and this goes on and on and on until the wee hours of Boxing Day!
Boxing Day – die a slow and painful death until around 3pm rinse, lather repeat all the way until New Years! Around the 2nd of Jan because everyone is obviously vrot and just needs a break we head off to the holiday house in Mossel bay where everyday is spent lazing on the beach, braaing and other exciting holiday activities.
BUT NOT THIS YEAR. This year I am hosting and there will be no shooters before or during lunch. Lunch will be promptly served at 1pm sharp. All other rules apply, remember your swimming costume because my pool is waiting for you! I can’t wait to host my first Christmas Lunch with la familia and do it northern suburbs style, chilled rustig but still a hell of a lot of fun. Amstel will be replaced with Heineken 00 and there will be no spiking of the punch! We mos big now! Dis my huis die!
A Day In The Life 